Dumb criminal round up
The gator is his lookout - a state trooper in Brazoria, Texas, pulled over a car that was making suspicious u-turns. He then noticed a six-foot alligator riding contentedly on the ledge below the back windshield. The driver, William Johnson, told the trooper that there was also a water moccasin, a poisonous water snake, in the car, and it had bitten him on the hand. Johnson moved to Texas from Tennessee and was known for his love of reptiles. He was arrested for intoxication, then on burglary charges after the cop found a stolen hair trimmer and game controller in his car. Earlier that night, he had allegedly knocked on a door at a trailer park to ask for help moving a TV. The homeowner told him, "that's not your house," and he left the TV on the lawn and drove away with his gator and snake. * This is also the entire plot of next week's "my name is earl."

Police in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, say that Deirdre Rodriguez came home, heard someone jump out a back window, and spotted Jake Merfield, 16, running off with her jewelry, cell phones and video game. She grabbed an ice scraper and took off running after him. He dropped the items one at a time, but she just kept coming until she caught up to him and whacked him in the head with the ice scraper. He surrendered, and she made him pick up each of her possessions and return them to the house before calling police, who arrested him and got him treated for the cut on his head. He's just lucky she'd already packed away the snow shovel. He learned his lesson: next time, he'll steal the ice scraper, too.

The trial of so-called Washington dc madam Deborah palfrey is underway in the nation's capitol. Rebecca Dickinson is among her former stable of call girls testifying in the trial. However, the U.S. navy knows her better as lieutenant commander Rebecca Dickinson. Palfrey has said she was unaware that the escorts were having sex for money, although Dickinson said she was indeed doing it for dough, perhaps hoping to become a rear admiral.